


The Equestrian Dialectic

by RancidSword (InfernalMachette)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, Drugs, Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Misogyny, Other, Smoking, Trans Character, Transphobia, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:02:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22312177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfernalMachette/pseuds/RancidSword
Summary: A two man show that makes the stage feel full - The New York TrollsSpectacular dialogue, sharp wit, a beautiful performance from both parties - The LususStriders fragile stoicism awakens even the stoniest faced young man, aside from Zahhak. Brilliant work - IGNI was the edge of my seat praying for no decapitation - Ego-Trip FairI had no idea where I was and that guy in the anime shades sure was an asshole, but without a doubt the best night of my life. 10/10 would see again - Roxy Lalonde
Relationships: Auto-Responder | Lil Hal/Equius Zahhak, Jake English/Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider, Roxy Lalonde/Dirk Strider (Past)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	The Equestrian Dialectic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taroturnip](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taroturnip/gifts).



Scene: Two plastic mugs sit on the table, one with Rarity on it and filled with sweet milky tea, the other is a Rainbowdash mug filled with iced orange juice. The table is sturdy, well made, but a bit old, perhaps mahogany? Probably just stained oak. It is not ornate, the legs simple square things and the top just a slab of inch thick wood. Light pours onto the table from a spotlight above it. Two chairs sit with each respective mug. They hold similar values to the table. The rest of the scene is not lit enough to be examined. The only other detail is that the floor is a simple polished wooden board.   
  
Enter stage left: A tall dashing man with curly almost strawish bleached hair that fights desperately against the orange cap jammed down on it appears. He is wearing black triangular shades, his skin is slightly wrinkled but no more past the age of a ripe 30 year old. It is brown and that’s all there really is to say on the matter. The neumorus scars are not to be described. His build is sensible, one might describe it as twunk if you were in the gay porn industry. Which he probably is judging from the taught popped collared white polo he wears tightly tucked into his boot cut black jeans. Fingerless leather gloves worn down to a second skin adorn his hands, his calloused fingers peekaboo out from under them.   
  
His face is lean, cheekbones with nowhere to hide, chin and nose sharp. His eyebrows and lips seemed to have stolen all the fullness it has but lay flat and neutral. Stern. Untucking his thumbs from his belt loops in a smooth and calculatedly cool motion he takes the back of the chair behind the Rainbowdash mug and spins it, straddling it looking fly as hell. Or maybe puppetlike. It’s typically hard to tell with him  
  
Enter stage right: A taller, broader man enters. He is easily a hunk, though some hair on him and the slight beginning of a love pouched belly indicates he’ll be a bunk in the future. His hair is long, dead straight, pulled back into a taut ponytail and ink black. His complexion is a deep olive. His own sunglasses are a sensible pair of rectangular lenses that suit his noble and long face well, a square jaw set hard and strong. The large nose holding them up has a sharp kink at the top of it, perhaps punched in and realigned oddly at a young age. His most prominent scar is a hard gnarly line around his neck. The others are the faded but pitted remains of teenage acne. Like the man from the left he wears fingerless gloves and has hard calluses.   
  
However he is dressed far more formally, in a sharp suit that fits him neatly. It is a deep royal blue and is broken up by his starched, bright white button up dress shirt. He adjusts his cufflinks, which are endowed with square cut rubies, then sits primly in the chair in front of the tea. His own posture speaks of a formal but relaxed state. He looks calm.  
  
Right: Derrick.  
Left: Equius, you know my name.  
EQUIUS: Dirk… I assume you think you know why you are here.   
DIRK: Correct. You can’t change my mind though, he knows this too.  
EQUIUS: I was not intending to, you do not have the right impression of me it seems.  
DIRK: What should that impression be then. I simply formulated it from your previous interactions, This is how you act.   
EQUIUS: Incorrect. I used to act this way. We have not seen each other in a while have we?  
DIRK: I suppose we haven’t, but people don’t change.  
EQUIUS: Your winkles argue against you.  
DIRK: You know what I meant.   
EQUIUS: Yes. In some respects I suppose you are correct, I have not changed really. But I am not that predictable. I do not care if you do not change. This is more closure for me than anything else.  
DIRK: Oh? My evil twin didn’t send you to bring me over to the dark side?  
EQUIUS: No. In fact he does not even know I am here  
DIRK: …  
EQUIUS:   
  
They both stare each other down intently, sipping their respective drinks at the exact same time without breaking eye contact. The silence has a tangible tar-like quality to it, the smell of gasoline starts filling the air.  
  
DIRK: You know this could get you in a lot of trouble.  
EQUIUS: Incorrect.   
DIRK: He’s a control freak. He’ll spaz out if he finds out you’re here white knighting for him  
EQUIUS: I am not.   
DIRK: What, come on that’s breaking tradition. You’re always arguing with me to protect his dainty honour.  
EQUIUS: Nah.   
DIRK: Already snapping?  
EQUIUS: Incorrect. I just thought I would get your attention. I am actually here for you.  
DIRK: My my, how charitable. You truly are a philanthropist.   
EQUIUS: You always were the socially inept one you realise?  
DIRK: Rude.   
EQUIUS: Pot and kettle. No I am not here out of kindness. I am here to watch you squirm.   
DIRK:  
EQUIUS:   
  
Dirk takes a long sip of his drink, then places it down with a thunk. Holding up a pack of cigarettes he raises an inquisitive eyebrow. Equius shrugs.   
  
EQUIUS: I heard about Roxanne. It truly is a shame is it not?  
Dirk lights a cigarette, placing a plastic ashtray on the table. The cherry red tip of it flares up creating an orange glow that lights up his face, past the caps shadow.  
DIRK: Don’t bring her up.  
EQUIUS: Him. Have some basic respect. I know you do not agree but I am sure you can at least swallow your pride that much.   
DIRK: It doesn’t deserve that-  
Equius’ fingers rap gently against the table. Dirk exhales a cloud of smoke and seems to tense. The cigarette glows brighter, reflecting brightly in his shades and showing his furrowed brow. He has far less cool than he likes to present.  
DIRK: Sure. Fuck you. He doesn’t deserve that much respect. Not after he went and fucked everything for me.   
EQUIUS: You do realise that is not how it works do you not?  
DIRK: No it is.   
EQUIUS: They are hurting far more than you are. Are you proud of that?   
  
Dirk inhales long and slow staring the man across the table down. He exhales another large cloud over his shoulder. The smoke is gathering now, swirling through the air and framing him like a halo, the cigarette is burning impossibly bright now without losing its length. It lights up the cloud of smoke, making it look like fog at sunset. The stickiness of the tar between them increases and it pools around Equius. Dirk blinks and he can no longer see the tar.  
  
DIRK: No. But I see you’ve extended your noble shield to him too.   
EQUIUS: Incorrect. I cannot change your mind about them any better than they would be able to themselves. That will just come with time. Like acceptance for your brother.   
DIRK: You seem to give me a hellva lot more credit than I deserve.   
EQUIUS: That is just the best case scenario. I know it is unlikely because frankly you are a conceited idiot who is suffering so much from his own internal baggage that he cannot see past his own nose. I know you love both of them still, and that you do have some respect and care for me. But you are prevented from showing this with your internalised biphobia.   
DIRK: Did he tell you to say all that shit?  
  
Dirk’s tense posture becomes outwardly hostile. His forehead crunching in with a hard glare and his hands becoming fists. Equius remains as calm and as put together as when he first entered the room. Wisps of the cigarette smoke break off and dissipate shrinking his halo.  
  
EQUIUS: No. I am insightful you know. You just have never tried to listen to me. Feeling uncomfortable Dirk?   
DIRK: I’m chill as a fuckin cucumber. Striders don’t do uncomfortable.  
EQUIUS: Oh my mistake that was supposed to come off as rhetorical. You have never been comfortable in your entire life.   
DIRK: Fuck you.   
EQUIUS: Admit it. You are jealous of me and Hal. You are frustrated at Roxy not because you are transphobic but because they are happy while you are not. You are a bitter little man who has pushed away all his friends, you are alone, you are upset and it is all your fault.   
DIRK: A: You’re wrong. You and Hal are disgusting. B: I’m perfectly fuckin happy thank you. Anne just wants to ruin my god damn life. It’s not my fault she got some delusional thoughts in her head that she’s not a woman and that she hates men all of a sudden! That’s her own stupid fault. She’s a dumb whorish fucking cunt who hates me and wants to ruin my life but I won’t let her!  
EQUIUS:   
  
The taller man sips his tea again. Sitting in silence. He lifts his sunglasses, folds his fingers together and looks at Dirk raising an eyebrow. Dirk pants with exhasberation, his hands mid gesture. Deflating under Equius’ stare he tucks his hands under his armpits.   
They continue to sit in silence for a good five minutes. Dirk breaks through the tar, subbing his cigarette out in the ashtray. The halo around his head goes black.   
  
DIRK: Come on say something! This is what you wanted wasn’t it. Embarrasing me and making me look like a fucking douchebag! It’s your problem! It’s not my fault you lot are all fruity fucking homos and that Anne has decided to become some transexual cuntboy just to spite me. Come on faggot haven’t you got any response? You fuckin pussy!   
  
Dirk stands up shoving over his chair. His juice mug wobbles. Equius holds his own mug stable.  
DIRK: I FUCKING HATE ALL YOU FAGS! COME ON. SAY SOMETHING! SAY SOMETHING TO ME YOU BASTARD. YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU AND YOUR STUPID HOMO ALURE DRAGGED HAL INTO YOUR QUEER SHIT. THEN YOU HAD TO COME TAKE MY FUCKIN WIFE TOO! FUCKING SAY SOMETHING TO ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT!   
  
EQUIUS: They both still love you. Roxy came to our doorstep the day he came out to you sobbing. It took me three hours to talk Hal down from killing himself the night you disowned him. But Roxy is still wearing his ring, and Hal still doesn’t have a best man for our wedding which is coming up in under a month. So here I am.   
  
CRACK. Dirks knuckles smash into Equius’ face, Equius doesn’t flinch. Blood trickles gently from his nose. Dirk punches him again right in the eye.   
  
Equius does nothing letting Dirk continue beating him up, leaving a wreck of blooming bruises and trickling cuts. After a good five minutes he stops, holding on to Equius’ collar. Equius pulls a kerchief from his jacket and gently dabs away the blood from his face. His nose continues to trickle while he gently plies one of Dirks fists from his collar. Uncurling his fingers gently and turning over his hand he takes off the fingerless glove, and seeing the redness of Dirks knuckles is what finally makes him wince. Dirk watches on for a moment, then bristles yanking his hand back and scrambling away from Equius.   
  
DIRK: What the fuck did you do to me? What the fuck was that!  
  
Equius puts the kerchief away and pulls out a comb. He fixes his hair then puts his now cracked glasses and the comb away, folds his hands together around his mug and stares earnestly at Dirk   
  
EQUIUS: I did not fight. I do not want to physically harm you Dirk, quite the opposite. I know me coming here probably brings up emotional pain for you but you have to realize I am not trying to antagonize you. I am more of a negotiator and a messenger than anything else. I care deeply for Hal, and by extension Roxy. They both love you so much it hurts. I do not expect you to ever fully reconcile with them, but I believe you are a good enough man to want to at least leave them in peace.   
  
DIRK: That's a fucking joke and you know it.   
  
He scoffs crossing his arms, his face is stormy and cold   
  
EQUIUS: False. It is based on what I have observed from you in the past, and hope I have gained talking to Jakob.  
DIRK: Oh no. Fuck you. Fuck you dude leave him out of this he doesn't deserve to be dragged into your faggotry. Leave him the fuck alone.  
EQUIUS: Actually he reached out to me.   
  
Dirk freezes for a moment as the air gets knocked out of him. After a moment his stony facade drops for a panicked one and he starts going red   
  
DIRK: Liar. He isn't part of your bullshit he'd have no way of knowing you no way of finding you   
EQUIUS: The internet is a miraculous thing Dirk, and you are not as clever as you like to think you are. He is also smarter than you give him credit for.   
DIRK: Shut up shut up. Oh my God. Oh my fucking God did HE put you up to this shit? Oh my fucking God why can't he just fucking talk to me! What the hell is wrong with him how dare he I trusted him I cared about him I loved him and he went behind my fucking back about this shit and he-  
Dirk was hyperventilating now   
DIRK: FUCK. FUCK HIM FUCK YOU FUCK THIS! WHY? FUCK!   
EQUIUS: That is exactly why. Your yelling would have made him clam up and let you divert the topic. H*ck he would not have even made it that far, he has tried too. So it is proven you are aggressively avoidant…   
  
He stood up slowly and approached Dirk like one might approach a startled stallion. Slowly with his palms facing out. He reached him without incident, then took his hands gently, and cupped them in his own.   
  
EQUIUS: I am close enough to this to have an investment in it. I have had previous experience with my own violent denial of my homosexual tendencies. I can soldier through your aggressive diversions, and know which buttons to press to avoid them in the first place. But I am a more neutral party than the others. I really am the best candidate to be here with you right now. I have both compassion and distance.   
  
Equius’ voice was soft but firm. His tone remained even, concerned. Dirk was trembling. He shrank in on himself before Equius but didn't pull his hands away. On the contrary they un-tensed and his arms started to relax too.   
  
DIRK: What are you on about denial?  
EQUIUS: Hm. Well I think this will best demonstrate.   
  
He kissed Dirks forehead. It was chaste and conservative with no real romance behind it, but there was a gentle comradery. Dirk instinctively punched him, but then froze staring at Equius. Equius pulled away gently, taking his kerchief back out. He dabbed the blood away again, then laid plasters over the cuts. Where the dressings had come from wasn't exactly clear. How bad the cuts and bruises were also wasn't clear.   
Had he come in un injured at all, had Dirk caused his injuries or just observed them. The tar flickered back into view, it had taken on a tentacle like quality and had wrapped itself all the way up to Equius’ waist. He seemed to take no notice of it, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He wasn't a smoker, where had they come from? Taking one out, he took hold of Dirks face squishing his cheeks a bit. Dirk took the offered cigarette in his mouth and watched as Equius lit it with a weed leaf shaped novelty lighter. It looked like Nepetas…  
  
EQUIUS: There we go.   
  
He let go of Dirks face. The smoke pooled back around Dirk's head in a halo. The cherry red tip lit it up again, brighter this time though, and the halo was more solid. Dirk hadn't even inhaled yet, he wasn't breathing. Equius patted his cheek and he gasped for air through the cigarette. The tar disappeared a final time. They were standing in front of each other maybe half a foot apart in silence. Dirk looked around suddenly.  
  
DIRK: Where even are we right now, I don't remember coming here.  
EQUIUS: Well that is not particularly relevant right now, but I will tell you anyway. We are at the public theater you and Hal used to frequent when you were young, where you used to watch that great puppet master you loved so much. I can not exactly remember his name but I know you were inspired by him to pick up your current profession.   
DIRK: And how exactly do you know all that?   
EQUIUS: I told you me and Hal are getting married in a month   
  
He pulled a chain out from under his shirt. It had a ring on it that looked like Celticly woven gunmetal.   
  
EQUIUS: He told me. I asked you to come here since I figured you would be most comfortable somewhere you knew. You arrived on that noisy motorbike of yours, which you need to get the exhaust checked for by the way, and I came in the silver Prius. They are parked next to each other out front.   
DIRK: What about the mugs? Wait did you fucking drug me dude?  
  
Equius picked up the Rainbowdash mug and took a big swig from it. He set it back down. Nothing seemed to happen   
  
EQUIUS: No.   
DIRK: Why do I keep seeing tar around you? Why do I have a smoke halo?  
EQUIUS: I do not know. You have always been a highly visual man but your grip on reality is loose Dirk. Are you OK?  
  
Equius turned Dirks chair around and gently guided him to it. Dirk slumped in it, dropping all his efforts to maintain his cool facade. He took his shades off, setting them down on the table along with his cap. Equius sat down opposite from him again folding his hands back together   
  
EQUIUS: Have you been taking your meds?  
DIRK: ...  
EQUIUS: Have you been hearing Cal again Dirk…  
DIRK: Don't see how that's relevant to me reconciling with Hal and Anne so why should I tell you.   
EQUIUS: How long?  
DIRK: Dunno. Probably no longer than a month. Why's it fucking matter to you? He looks after me I'm not violent.   
  
Equius just raised an eyebrow. Dirk shrank before him   
  
DIRK: I stopped caring about him the right way so I had to stop taking my meds   
EQUIUS: Dirk caring about Cal like that is unhealthy-  
DIRK: Not Cal.   
EQUIUS: Ah. Huh. I suppose that must be why he contacted me.   
DIRK: Fuck off. Stop being smug you shit head. Just cause I like him like that when I'm fucked up on my meds doesn't mean I'm a God damn queer.   
EQUIUS: …  
DIRK: Stop fucking looking at me like that! Stop! Roxy didn't make me start questioning myself because I still fucking adored them! I'm not fucking jealous of you and Hal you could have so easily gotten aids and died back in the fucking 80’s. Stop fucking looking at me like that   
EQUIUS: Is that the first time you have used Roxy’s preferred name and pronouns for them?   
DIRK: Fuck! What are you doing to me? Did you slip me my fucking drugs? Stop it!   
EQUIUS: We have established I have not drugged you. I could not even access your meds they are too highly controlled.   
DIRK: Then why am I fucking talking to you!  
EQUIUS: Probably because you still care. Have you told Jakob you love him?  
DIRK: I haven't because it would be a God damn lie!  
EQUIUS: And yet it slipped out so easily earlier-  
DIRK: Also you know he goes by Jake you fucking cuck. Stop using long names it makes you sound like a pretentious douche-  
EQUIUS: He did not tell me he prefers Jake-   
DIRK: STOP TALKING!  
  
He was panting staring at Equius like a wild animal. Subbing out his cigarette he stared hard at the suited man, seemingly reminiscing for a moment   
  
DIRK: Please just shut up dude. I'll take my meds if it'll get you to leave me alone, I'll call you guys in a few weeks and we can meet up and I'll let Roxy and Hal beat me up however much they want to. Then we'll part ways or whatever and I'll live my life while you live yours. You fuckin happy? You won I'll let you pull me into your stupid healing shit long enough for Roxy and Hal to be better then I'll fuck off and go back to my puppets where I belong.   
EQUIUS: …  
  
Equius smiled softly. It was the first time his mouth had expressed anything since they'd stepped into the room. He stood up again, giving a soft nod and patting Dirk on the shoulder   
  
EQUIUS: I appreciate it. I am sure Jake will too. Come on then let's get you home.   
  
And Dirk, a single sparkling blue anime tear slipped from his eyes. He let Equius guide him out front to the Prius, for a brief moment he tried going for his shitty suzuki, but Equius’s firm gentle grip guided him to the passenger seat instead. Looking out the window as the city rushed by at a perfectly legal speed, and with a start-  
  
DIRK: FUCK! I forgot my fucking cap and shades!   
Equius stopped at the red light they’d just been offered, and glanced over a him raising an eyebrow  
EQUIUS: I can turn us around and we can go get them if that’s what you want. You’ll need to go back there for your motorcycle later anyway so we could grab them then instead if you want.   
  
Dirk looked at him long and hard, the light went green   
  
DIRK: No, nevermind, it’s fine.  
  
The stage remains set, a pair of plastic My Little Pony mugs sit now empty, cigarette smoke curls up from the remainder of a stub that sits between them in its ashtray. The cap and glasses on the table are still. The spotlight flicks out.   
And the curtains close.   



End file.
